Debunking the Green Bowling Massacre

February 12, 2017
Reported by Toucan

WARREN COUNTY, KENTUCKY - There was much outrage over the "misstatement" made by Killa N. Kahoot two weeks ago on Jan. 29th, when she tried to justify President Rump's discriminatory ban on moose and lambs by referring to the Bowling Green "Massacre." The Bowling Green Massacre was scoffed at by the media as being "fake" and referred to as the "terrorist attack that never happened."

But now, we have some evidence that the Bowling Green Massacre, in a way, was actually true. Here is what we have so far:

1. Killa N. Kahoot was in fact referring to the Green Bowling Massacre of 2013, which took place at a nearby Brunswick Zone where the Green Bowlers, a prestigious middle school bowling team, massacred their opponents, the White Supremacists, in a one-sided round with the Green Bowlers each scoring a perfect 300.

2. Two of these Green Bowlers were moose and two of them were lambs. Coincidence?

3. The losing opponents - the White Supremacists - ended up becoming racists and are hoping to apply at Kompton Kommunity Kollege. This shows how much impact this Green Bowling Massacre had.

So, after reviewing the facts, we can see that Killa N. Kahoot was in fact not wrong, but she simply got her words mixed up. She meant to refer to the Green Bowling Massacre, where the Green Bowlers slayed the White Supremacists (in bowling).

Indeed, it was a terrible tragedy.