February 12, 2017
Reported by Panda
Reported by Panda
PALO ALTO, CALIFORNIA - Seahorses working in their aqua-labs at Stemford University have revolutionized the tech world with their new product, the Gendeterminer. The Gendeterminer uses prime facial recognition technology to determine what gender you truly are. The asexual seahorses have long been at odds with what gender they really are, and the Gendeterminer will make this process a lot easier for them.
“The Gendeterminer uses decades of facial-pattern data to analyze your behavioral habits and cross-reference them with the traits of various genders,” the head scientist, Dr. Orca, explains. “There are thousands of different genders available. I was identified as an AK-47 she-wolf, which is exactly how I feel.”
This has quelled many of the millennials who have been wondering what their exact gender is. Many protesters, unable to overcome the frustration of not knowing their gender, turned to violence and arson to protest. The Gendeterminer’s release would contribute to the decline of gender-fueled disputes.
“The Gendeterminer has occurred under President Rump’s regime-uh-presidency,” Rump’s political advisor, Killa N. Kahoot, claims. “This shows how much President Rump is qualified for presidency.”
